The Logistics of 2

It’s incredible what a second child does to your every day logistics.  What used to be so “easy” now requires an additional 12 hands, 3 hours, a wish and a prayer.  I think the biggest difference with two is that someone has to wait.  Either the baby or the toddler, but one of them has to get the shaft at some point.  For all my efforts in keeping those instances equal between the two, it usually boils down to whoever is screaming the loudest.  
My two are 20 months apart and it isn’t always a little piece of heaven. My son wants to test me at every turn these days and my daughter is just becoming more conscious of her surroundings. Meaning she has learned to scream which gets me running only to smile at me, I think mostly at her influence on cause and effect.
What I can tell you if you are about to embark on the two journey is you have to start to re-think things.  Someone has to sit in the car, someone has to wait in the house, someone has to be picked up and someone has to stay on the floor.  You cannot I repeat, you cannot operate as you have been.
Really it comes down to who can move and who do you need to contain.
My son goes in the car first in the morning because he is mobile and finding him if I left him in the house would take longer than my daughter who is still in her bucket.
My daughter and their daycare bag go in the car first before I go back into daycare and get my son … GASP, yes my daughter sits in the car for 5 minutes for me to go get my son.  This is another blog post, don’t crucify me … there are two of them and one of me so someone has to wait I can’t carry them both.
Many times one is left alone, where with just one there really is never a reason to leave them alone.  Now with a very mobile 2 year old and a 5 month old, my son could easily be in the other room or wanting to go outside while my daughter is playing in her room or in her bumbo on the counter.  So while you are attending one or changing one of the 20 diapers you will change in one day someone is by themselves.  This just is what it is, no I never left my son alone, I also didn’t let him cry and had a mild heart attach when other people held him.  You learn to relax, nothing seems as scary as it did the first time.
My husband travels for work I would say averaging 1 – 2 nights per week, so there are plenty of times where the children out number the adult.  In these situations .. count down the hours until bed time 🙂
Once you have done that you have to find a way to make it work.  Hopefully your children are old enough that at least one of them can listen to basic instructions.
“I have to put Suzie down for a nap I need you to go play quietly in your room”
THIS WILL NOT WORK ..
You will try and its sweet that you think for the 3.5 seconds that your oldest leaves the room that they are doing what you ask, but about 7 seconds after those words have left your mouth your toddler is most likely riding the dog.  Own it, accept it, love it and hope that the toddler doesn’t fall off until after you have gotten the littlest one down for that nap.
The logistics are difficult, there is no right way, I will give you my daily schedule while my husband is away just so you can get an idea of what your day / week could look like.  Hopefully your spouse / partner doesn’t travel so you’ll most of the time have a second set of hands

4:30 am – Tiniest Human wants to eat
4:30 – 5 am – Either I am on my game and did not get back into bed or …. I am back in bed
5 am – Get up … GET UP
5 am – 6 am – get myself dressed, make a cup of decaf (damn breastfeeding), eat something, let the dog out, put the dogs breakfast in her dish, put my pumping bag in the car, attempt to wipe down a counter or fold laundry
6 am – 6:30 – furiously try and either start a load of laundry or empty the dishwasher, knowing that every moment of silence is borrowed time
6:30 – if they aren’t already up, open the kids doors so that the noise will start to rouse them
6:30 – Get the tiniest human, change her diaper, dress her for the day.  Put her in either her activity saucer, or bumbo
6:40 – Get my son out of his crib, change his diaper, put on big boy underpants (another blog post) get dressed for the day
6:45 – Feed my son breakfast
6:45 – 7 am – put ice packs in the lunches and get bags out in to the car
7 am – Nurse my daugher while my son yells from his highchair that ” I”M DONE!!”
7:10 – Get the dog inside, grab my son while he runs away from me and get him in the car, put my daughter in her bucket, grab the keys a cell phone, a water and my daughter and get in the car.
7:20 – 7:30 – drop the kids off at daycare
7:30 – 7:45 – drive to work ( make the shift between mommy me and work me)
7:45 – 3:45 – work all day, no breaks, no lunch, meetings, phone calls, emails don’t stop … look up, take a breath and “oh crap” its time to go.
Do pump at 8 am, 11 am and 2 pm
4 pm – pick up the kids from daycare, get the tiniest human and the canvas tote w/ lunches in the car
4:05 get my son from the playground and get him in the car
4:15 – get home and nurse the tiniest human
4:30 – Get the kids / dog ready for a walk
5 – 5:30 – go for a walk w/ double stroller (if you don’t own one or think you can get away without one, you can’t …buy one)
5:30 – 6 – get home, make dinner, let the toddler run amuck while you do this
6 pm – Dinner where your son eats and asks you to eat as well, choke down a few bites with him because you are probably starving but you have to unload bags from the car and load the dishwasher
6:15 – TV time … thank god, not for the tiniest human, but the toddler gets to watch netflix
6:30 – 7 – spend time w/ my son and daughter …
7 pm – bedtime for both, bath for the tiniest human, then dress the tiniest human while bath fills up for toddler.
Bathe toddler while tiniest human hangs out on the bathroom floor.  Put tiniest human on her play mat in her room, get toddler out of the bath and get him in his jammies.
Let him read in his room while you nurse the tiniest human to sleep (best part of the day with her) Put her to bed,
Go get him, read him a book put him to bed
7:20 – walk out of the kids rooms
7:20 – 8:00 – make lunches / bottles for tomorrow, wash pump parts, refreeze ice packs, load dishwasher / do laundry, clean bathrooms (or whatever chore is on your list for the day)
8 pm – whatever is not done does not get done…. sit down, set a time, whatever you are comfortable with but put a line in the sand and do not cross it.  None of your day is your own from the time you get up until that moment when you decide you are done.  Upon that moment, read a book, watch bad tv, have a drink, have a water, exercise, do whatever you want to do that is just for you.