Please wait I’m not ready
I recently gave birth to my husband and I’s second child, a girl, who is of course the most perfect child in the world, right next to our son. But I have realized things now as a second time parent that I didn’t before that will inevitably shape the way I treat the second child compared to the first. This could launch a series of psychological affects on birth order but I’ll spare you the mumbo jumbo and just say, as a second time parent, there are a few simple truths.
You don’t worry about the second one the way you worried about the first. With the first, everything was concerning .. if he slept more than 4 hours I woke up in a panic convinced he had died of SIDS in his crib. If he ate less than usual I was worried, if he ate more than usual I was worried.
You also appreciate the little things in the second that you didn’t in the first. My tiniest human is now about two months old we just made the transition to 3 month clothes up from newborn and then 0-3 … Please wait I’m not ready!
I can’t stand the fact that she is already in 3 month clothes .. it seems ridiculous I know but its too soon, she was so tiny for such a short period of time and she is already getting too big too fast.
With my son somehow his size and development was a testament to my skills as a parent. First time parents tout their children’s quick growth as if its something to be proud of and hastened rather than appreciated and if at all possible slowed down. When my son was into his six month clothes I literally told people as if they should be proud of him and consequently me. When he began to want to be held upright and not in the cradle hold I was thrilled, thinking that that somehow meant that he was developing more quickly and was ahead of the curve.
I now know that while I want my daughter to develop the way she should if she wants to hang back a little I’m totally ok with that. I would love it if she stayed little just a little longer. It’s impossible as they all grow and change, develop and progress but that first year … oh that first year. It is a series of firsts that will never be recovered. They will never grow as quickly or develop as fast as they do in that first year. It is a year to cherish, and cherish all of it for it is a fleeting moment in time that will soon be gone and can never be redone. Cherish the sleepless nights, cherish the sound of a newborn cry, cherish your mistakes and your victories.
If you are about to have your first, savor it as much as any new parent can, if you are about to have a second know that you will worry less about this new life but that you will most likely spend more time appreciating the nuances. If it’s your third, I have nothing for you except to say good luck 🙂
