I Choose You

I love my children, I love that I have children.  They have fulfilled my life in a way that I didn’t know was unfulfilled until they chose me and my husband to be their parents.  There was a story I vaguely remember from my childhood that children / babies were up in heaven and they got to choose their parents and they knew who they would be with until they were born and then they forgot and had to learn to love their parents all over again.  It was a beautiful story but I like to think that my children chose me. That they saw something in my husband and I and wanted to be a part of our lives, of our souls.  My heart aches just trying to explain the depth of my love for them.  It is unconscious, conscious and impossible to ignore. I could not not love them anymore than I could stop breathing, I would eventually pass out and begin to love them again.
I go into all this because I didn’t choose my children, they chose me. I did choose their father.  I chose my husband, for me, for our life, for our children I chose him.  He is my person, my antagonist, my support, my frustration and my love; he is my everything thing.  Sometimes he is my everything all in one day :).
I think sometimes we forget that we chose the person that we are with.  Married or unmarried, engaged or dating we made the choice and it is ours forever for it can never be unmade.  My husband loves me more than I can put into words, and I him.  I always wanted to have a husband who loved me first, who didn’t lose himself in children or others but loved me first and foremost and he does.  My point I guess is that I choose to love my husband, I choose to be married to him and in some ways that makes our love stronger than the love I have for my children.  I have no choice but to love my children, I make a conscious decision every day to love my husband.  I choose to consider him in everything I do, I choose to put his needs before my own.  He chooses to love me, for all my insecurities and quirks, for my sullenness and my craziness.  It is not like choosing to go left or right but more a love that is a priority because it needs care.  It needs sunlight, good soil, water and tending.  It is not an absolute, it is not a given, it needs to grow, entwining itself in our lives and our actions.  Our roots in love are what keep us upright in bad weather and what allow us to grow bigger and stronger in good weather.  My love for my husband is my honor to care for has he holds my heart in his hands and I his.  He will be with me at the end of my days, when my children have children of their own.  He will hold my hand and be my rock.
My husband is the father of my children, he is the man of my house, he is my world.
I choose you
Happy Fathers Day!