Do you know where your children are?

A popular public service announcement in the 80’s I remember being a child and seeing it on television late at night.  Late of course for a child so like 9 pm.  I always used to think it was stupid, of course parents knew where their children were, its bedtime!  I lived in a pretty strict household where rules were enforced and I was not allowed out past dark until I was in my teens, but that’s another blog post.
I’ve been thinking about this statement a lot lately because my son goes to daycare tomorrow.  I have already returned to work but for the past four weeks he has been taken care of at my home by family members (teachers) who have the summer off.  Now the dreaded day 8/8/12 is almost upon us and I have to resign myself to the fact that he will be spending his time with someone else.  He will be now one more degree away from me as we have moved from exclusive care, to care by family members and now paid care.
I know there are arguments for and against daycare.  There are some woman who can’t imagine being home all day and some who have a hard time leaving their kid to go to the grocery store.  There are nightmare stories like the one out of MS, where a 9 year old boy was caught on surveillance hitting and choking infants. Beware the video is graphic if you choose to watch it; I haven’t even done so because I don’t think I could handle it. Article There are wonderful stories too of children doing craft projects and learning their numbers in another language.
The average American family needs two incomes, we cannot survive on just one working parent.  So the cost of daycare is weighed against the time spent away and the $$ coming in.  Everyone I know works, maybe they have chosen an alternative work schedule or have taken one day off a week, but they are working for the rest of the time.  Daycare is a necessity and I truly believe that 98% of those providing care are there for the right reasons and do a wonderful job.  I have no hesitation leaving my son with his provider tomorrow morning.  My conflict is personal its about me and actually has very little to do with my child.  It’s the fact that someone else will be introducing him to new things, that someone else will see him for most of his waking hours and that someone else will form a close relationship with him when selfishly I want all those things to be mine.  We are selfish creatures and I would argue that many arguments against daycare are from those people unwilling to evaluate their motivations and admit that their problems with daycare are about themselves and not about those who are providing the care to their children.
So tomorrow “Do you know where your children are?” will be my mantra.  I will know where he is, I will know that he is safe and being taken care of and I will cry a little when I drop him off because I know those things aren’t being done by me.