Baby Crap

Not crap literally although I could easily blog about baby poop and the hell that that has been, actually now I think I’m remembering a story about baby poop …
Next post
So
Baby crap, stuff, toys, tools, trinkets, shit, whatever … there is so much of it. I swear, you hear people talk who raised children in the 20’s and 30’s and they had their kids sleeping wrapped in a blanket in the bottom drawer of their dresser.  The kids chewed on a piece of cloth that was dipped in whiskey when they were teething and played with a spoon (the only spoon they owned) and a metal bowl.  Somehow they all survived.
Now
There is just soooo much stuff. I swear, half if it you don’t need, the other half will save your life and the third half, yes I can count will make you feel like a bad parent because you didn’t use it.
Here are in my humble opinion things you do not need

1. The stroller that comes as part of the set with the car seat – TOTAL WASTE OF MONEY
You will not use that stroller for basically anything.  Its too big to fit in your car unless you drive an Escalade and you aren’t typically going to bring it anywhere. I used mine to walk the dog, it sits in either my basement or garage and is not used nearly as much as it should be.  Read through the lines, I do not walk the dog much these days.
2. Baby Carrier – so this is going to be taken with a grain of salt because some baby carriers people love and swear by them. I’m going to argue however that most of them are the most ridiculous complicated pieces of crap on the planet.  They need to be re-thought extensively.  Take the moby for example, I have been told its incredible.  I’ve also been told you can barely do the wrapping by yourself and that the thing coupled with the baby is basically too hot to do anything of consequence.  ok … so why own it?
3. Wipes Warmers – Again I’m sure some people will swear by this thing.  My opinion is that the baby especially the infants are going to scream bloody murder when you change their diaper regardless of if the wipe is warm, just bite the bullet and wipe your kids but …
4. Baby spoons – Stupid … the plastic spoons are not going to save my baby’s gums and the rubber covered metals ones who are we kidding …. my kid sees a baby spoon and basically tells me to f*off and refuses to eat whatever I’ve deigned to suggest with the baby spoon.
5. All stuffed animals … they are cute they are lovable, if they do not light up, talk, sing or move on their own they are a waste of time.  I have more freaking stuffed animals than I know what to do with and my son barely tolerates any of the ones that don’t “do” something.

So that is my list, take it or leave it, don’t get me wrong there is plenty more crap out there but those are my top 5.