A Letter: Love Me For Who I am

Mom and Dad,
Love me for who I am.  Love me, not for the child you thought I would be or the man / woman you thought I would become, but love me for the person I actually am.  You made me, genetics, nurture, sheer dumb luck you made me, the incredible individual that I am.  So allow me to be that person.  Love me for my independence, love me for my quirkiness.  Love me as you would love yourself if you chose a few different paths.  I am you; a version of you at least, you have my qualities in you, and maybe that’s why you have such a hard time accepting me, but you should.  Let go of the preconceived notions that you had and be with the me that is in front of you.  If you can do that then we can have the type of relationship that you always wanted to have with me and the type of relationship I long to have with you.  Love me for who I am.

I imagine my son and daughter and the people I think they will be.  The lives I think they will lead, their politeness in difficult situations.  Their desire to have a clean room, the college they will attend, the boyfriend / girlfriend they will have and I realize that these hopes and dreams for them may very well one day get in the way of me actually enjoying my children for the people they are, not the people I want them to be.  We all balance our hopes and dreams with reality, but those hopes and dreams are our everything for our children. We want and expect the world for them, so much so that I worry I won’t be able to see past myself so that I can see them.  See them as they actually are, not as I want them to be.
My son is incredible, he is smart and funny.  When he laughs it is the purest most genuine sound in the world.  He is willful … he has the stubbornness of his father and me put together which is saying something, let me tell you.  He would cut of his nose to spite his face, but that determination is a rock which he can lean on later in life when things get tough.  I don’t worry about him, because he is as strong willed as anyone I have ever known and if he wants something at 2 years old I can tell you he will get it.  I am proud of his independence already even though I know that there will be many hard fought battles between us.  He is caring, already growing more and more concerned with his sister as he becomes more aware of her existence.  He loves his father, talks and asks about him at every junction of the day, so much so that sometimes I feel like I play second fiddle.  He is an incredible person the little that I have learned about him.  I hope I can stay out of my own way as he grows older and we can have the type of relationship I don’t enjoy with my parents.
My daughter, smiles, that’s all she does, just smiles at me. I have no idea what kind of person she will be or is, its too early to tell.  But when she smiles, the clock stops, and my heart skips a beat.
Love your children for who they are, not who you want them to be. We get the children we are supposed to have, just like we had our children with the person that we were supposed to have them with.  Our children are mirrors of ourselves, showing us our good and not so good qualities.  Let them reflect you and let them develop beyond you.  Earn their respect by respecting them, for their respect is not a guarantee.  They will not appreciate the fact that you gave them life, at least not until they themselves give life.  Love them for who they are ….